Your New SSN – Sexual Security Number

© By Peter Goerth, 12-26-2014

You probably have a Social Security Number, the lifelong taxpayer identifier. But you have another SSN, one that is not assigned by any organization and is only learned after some years of life experience: Your very own individual Sexual Security Number. This is a group of numbers that may represent some of your views on and attitudes toward sex, and could be remarkably accurate at identifying you.


Imagine a giant TV screen like the one in Times Square (or you could draw this on paper). The screen is divided into four boxes. On the screen are photos of your lovers, every one you’ve ever had and ever will. In the first quadrant are people you have been in love with, whether that love was returned or not, including adolescent crushes and teen romances. In the second quadrant is everyone you have ever had sex with, which might include photos from the first square. The third quadrant holds photos of everyone you are having sex with now and a number of blank frames for other people you might like to have sex with someday, and this box may include photos from the first two boxes. The last square has photos (and blank frames for potential future lovers) of those with whom you would like to be able to have an ongoing sexual relationship without restriction.

Now count ’em up! You should have four numbers, written like this: 12-3-1-1. This is your Sexual Security Number! If you have properly considered the prior paragraph and are fairly confident in your figures, proceed on to see what they might mean.

First # – Times in Love: Lower numbers may suggest that you do not love easily or are very selective. Higher numbers might indicate a tendency to fall in love easily or have a greater capacity for love than others, especially if you have been in love with more than one person at the same time. A median range for this category might be 8-12.

Second # – Total Sex Partners: Lower numbers mean little other than you have not had many partners. Higher numbers mean little either, except that perhaps you have a greater need for sexual contact than others or may have been in a greater number of relationships. Median range for under-40’s is probably 4-6 partners.

Third # – Current Sex Partners: This number is more meaningful. It is usually a single digit, and usually 1 or 0. One current partner is by far the most common response, but recall that this box also contains potential future lovers as well.

Fourth # – Desired Sex Partners: By far the most interesting of all, again most often 1. Any number other than this might suggest that you may be polyamorous or at least have leanings in that direction.

How well does your SSN identify you? Let’s consider some various theoretical combinations:

1-18-2-1 – Maybe seeking the perfect One, or mommy or daddy issues.

6-0-0-0 – Asexual, or perhaps a nun.

6-0-0-1 – Stalker, or someone just not getting out there very much.

9-1-1-1 – “Traditional” married couple.

1-1-1-1 – Really?

8-4-0-3 – It would be informative to see this person’s screen for how many photos appear more than once.

3-over100-30-1 – Likely a sex worker but doesn’t want to be one forever.

11-2-1-2 – Perhaps a married person with a fantasy lover.

7-3-0-1 – Graduating college student with at least 3.7 GPA. Might be a good catch.

4-43-4-3 – Polyamorous or just horny?

Do you recognize anything about yourself in these examples?

There are no “normal” or “correct” numbers. There are no right or wrong answers. No judgments should be made. The results are only an indication of certain aspects of your sexual values and attitudes, not a diagnosis or prediction of future behavior.

Wouldn’t this be a great party game? Copyright Peter Goerth 2014 – look for the home version soon!

¡Feliz año nuevo!


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