And so it was a literally foggy, cold night that my first foray into the local BDSM culture transpired. My intellectual exploration of BDSM through books, video and fantasy had piqued my desire and curiosity to actually seek a group, a meet up and then gain the golden ticket to to a party. I wasn’t too nervous but had the typical newbie chatter going on in my mind.
Was I really kinky enough to fit in? I had dabbled in various play; some bondage, spanking, nipple clamps etc. But I was no pain slut or harboring desires for psychological humiliation. Was my threshold of submission enough? When I walked through that dark door would I be dominated, whipped and gang-banged? (Though I knew this thought was really a fantasy that my perverse mind was really asking out of a soup of erotic novel reading.) And of course, what should I wear? Leash, chains, a mask? I settled for a leather corset, boots and leggings. It was cold out after all.
The location itself was mysterious. Directions were edge of town, up a hill and through a gate. If you passed a trash heap, you had gone too far. Hmmm. Sounded like the makings of a Texas chainsaw massacre movie!
So the big night arrived and my boyfriend and I managed to find our way through the fog. Upon entry we were greeted by by an older, plain woman who was obviously someone’s Grandma who was just taking time out from her knitting to help usher S&M groupies into their night of revelry. There was a large sign posted behind her which gave warnings. “You May See Nudity,Genitalia and/or Sexual Acts.” Oh my! It all lay behind the curtain-like the perverted Wizard of Oz. S&M Grandma took our entry fee, gave us a raffle ticket (for what?) and smiled as we walked through the curtain. “Have a good time!” she beamed.
The room was all open with a roped off section in the middle. People casually gathered at tables along the sides chatting and watching the scenes unfold on the floor. There was food, music, conversation and people of all ages and sizes. It was a normal party. It just so happened people were being flogged while we munched on cheese and crackers!
As I settled in and focused on the action on center stage, I noticed various scenes unfolding. A woman was bent over a padded table being slowly flogged by a grey haired couple (who knew there were so many grandparents of S&M?). I was touched by the care and attention they focused on this woman. It seemed more like therapy. One brushed her back while the other flogged her bare backside with varying degrees of intensity. They checked in with her and when she seemed sufficiently beaten, offered her water and hugs.
There was another couple attending to a woman on a table with great seriousness. Apparently they had just done a type of needle play and there were remnants of blood they were gently cleaning from her body. Wow-I didn’t want to try that one. But again, I was struck by the display of gentleness juxtaposed against the pain. After this session was over, the woman retreated to an aclove with comfy pillows to rest.
Fire play was fun to watch. Mousse was trailed across a girl’s belly and lit. It poofed away in a second with her squeal of the thrill. Medieval fire cupping was employed on another girl. I watched in fascination as she actually seemed to enjoy glass cups that had seconds earlier been lit by flames, grip her back causing circles of red. Again…guess I’m not that medieval.
Throughout were couples involved with each other. Usually the man playing the dominant; binding and spanking his Sub. They were very intimate in this public setting. Even though they were on display, they were in their own world. The Subs were zoned. Afterwards, they stayed very zoned and relaxed until they were ready to go again.
By the account of others, this was a slow party. Perfect for a first time. The overall atmosphere was casual, relaxed and safe. It was not even that sexual. The naked bodies were just bodies. In fact, in general society most of these bodies would be considered “not sexy”. Yet in this atmosphere, everyone was accepted. Acceptance of bodies, ages, needs and desires was the theme. I can even say that this was the safest, most respectful party I had ever attended. As a massage therapist and psychology major this all made sense to me. I believe that sometimes it takes working on the body to free the mind and sometimes it takes working on the mind to free the body.
The evening was drawing to a close and I had spent my time psychoanalyzing and observing. A man brought out a new toy-a device which produced electrical energy sparking across the body. I decided to give it a try. I undressed and lay across the table. Pricks of energy trickled across my body evoking little jumps and squeals. When they changed the attachment to a brush device, it intensified but also became very pleasurable. I purred like a cat. So I discovered something new, something different and fun. I had become a participant instead of observer. Did that make me a S&Mer? We will see…
Would I do this again? Absolutely. My curiosity is still piqued and not satisfied yet. Perhaps one day I will be the Grandma at the door of the dungeon. I will smile, put down my knitting (and whip) and say “enter here my children-explore your darkest desires and we will make sure you are safe while you do!”